Milk and Madness

Hello friends. Welcome back to another episode of the Milk and Madness podcast, where we explore motherhood one episode at a time. If you're new to Milk and Madness, welcome. We are so glad to have you with us. And if you're a regular listener, we are very grateful. A few weeks ago we talked about the essentials you'll need when you start having kids, like the pram, the car seat, nappies, baby wipes etc.
So now let's talk about those things which are not essential or even probably a waste of time and money.

Absolutely. Yes. So through our own personal experience by trial and error, we've also received, so many different things as gifts throughout the years, hand me downs. There are just so many things which you may feel you need.

And other people may feel you need as well, but the reality is you might not again, just remember that this is our own feelings from our personal experience. But it does come down to what will work for you, your family, your baby, what's going to make life easier for you and honestly help you stay sane.

So we've got a list of stuff. We've got breast pump as a non essential, what do you think?
I think it's not essential. I think if you breastfeed and you're fine and your partner's happy to not feed there's pros and cons to it.

I don't think it's essential if you have a good flow and all of that. I think if on your journey for breastfeeding, you find that you're just not getting, you don't know how much you're getting, your baby's struggling to breastfeed, your partner wants to feed, you're going away, whatever it might be, then yes, get a breast pump.

Ideally, if you've got a friend who doesn't need theirs anymore, maybe grab it off them, buy it off them, whatever. That's how I got mine. Cause I didn't use it regularly. Enough to warrant me going out and buying a brand new one. So yeah, I think it's just one of those things you have to assess as you go.

You just don't know. Yep.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was just going to say with breast pumps, they can be also quite pricey. My sister had, I think it was called a spectra, which was really dear and she did really well, literally lending it to me and to quite a few friends. I think it was worth the cost of it.

But what I did was I had a, I think I had a Madella, which is pricey ish. But what I really loved was this really cheap manual pump, this Avent manual pump. It was. I can't remember how much, but it was significantly cheaper. It was really small, uncomplicated, you didn't need the Y's or anything like that.

And I felt the suction was good. It was like a good suction, like really satisfying. So I would say absolutely, you don't know if you're going to need one until you get there. I would talk to friends before giving birth to suss out who's got a pump, who can I actually borrow it from when I do need it so that if it's, 1am or whatever it is and your husband needs to go and get this pump, we know where you're going.

Or, if you have the funds, just get a cheap one, get a cheap one. I recommend honestly, the manual one is a lot of work, but sometimes you can have a clot and it might get a bit hard in your breast. And maybe there's just a duct that needs some clotting, so I would use I found my manual pump really great for that because the suction was like, it was really good.

So breast pump, I don't know, it's one of those things where it could be really essential, but you don't know. So maybe just do some forward planning before you get there so that you're prepared and you know what pharmacy has them or that kind of stuff nearby.

Bottle warmer. Nah. Big fat no. Big fat waste of money in my opinion. There are so many things that would just, it's a waste of money. I don't know, like you can just heat it up on the stove if you need to. If you've just pumped, then they can have it straight away, obviously because it's still warm. If it's frozen, of course, leave it out defrost it, all that jazz.

But I don't know, like when you're on the go and you're, even if it's formula I just, room temperature's fine. I don't know. I, my kids weren't fussy in that respect. So yeah, I think it's a bit of money.

If your kids are fussy, I think it's a different story. We had one given to us, like a really cheap, Avent one.
And it was definitely on its last legs. It still worked though. And we did use it when we were home. Is it essential? No, I agree with you, but it was nice to have when you're home and I was pumping. So we had milk that was frozen or was in the fridge, so it meant that you could put, the frozen milk or whatever.

Just to like defrost and it never got too hot because you could control, the temperature. So that part of it was really great. And it meant that it kept it warm whilst you, Oh gosh, okay. The napkin is changing. And then some other stuff happened and sometimes you might forget it.

And it's in there for 10 minutes too long. It never got really hot. Whereas I feel with the stove, you've got to watch it a bit more. , there's pros and cons, but I agree, not essential. But, if you get one handed down, take it. Absolutely. Oh, absolutely. Anything you get handed down, take it.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Bottle sterilizer.
Nah. But again, I didn't bottle feed as much. Sure. If you are going to be bottle feeding, maybe but soap and water I dunno, to me, it was enough. I just washed them and I had enough. Again, I had, a lot of bottles handed down to me, so I had enough to not need to sterilize after every single feed, or wash after every single feed, or I could just put it in, use the next one, use a couple.

So it wasn't essential for me to have to sterilize or wash it straight away, and I didn't use it that often. But look, maybe if you are going to be solely bottle feeding for that convenience factor again, I still don't think it's essential though. Like you can just wash it. Like it's not anything dirty.

It's just milk. Like it doesn't need sterilizing. It just needs a clean.

So I remember doing some research on this in the early days. And things might have changed now, so I'd recommend looking it up, but I think the, I think it was like maybe the rural women's hospital or like a, a big hospital in Australia and their recommendation was that up to six months, if you are bottle feeding regularly, then you should sterilize it.

The equipment, the breast pump stuff, the bottles up to six months. And after that, the baby's immunity should be strong enough. You can continue sterilizing if you need to. I think a lot of these things that are on our non essential list are things you can do Without so you can use the microwave or you can just use boiling water or soap or whatever.

But some of these things just make it potentially a little bit easier for you. So we had a sterilizer. It again, it was Avent. So obviously someone was a big Avent fan had given us all their old Avent stuff. But it was like a, it wasn't fancy at all. I can get really fancy ones and I don't think you need them at all.

It was just. Imagine like a Tupperware container that had sections for all your bottles, all the, nipples and all the bits of your pump. You fill it up with water on the bottom, you put a lid on, it seals it. And then you put it in the microwave for five, 10 minutes, whatever time so that the water does the job for you.

So I found that really handy and we did use it quite a bit at the start. Is it essential? No, but did it make my life easier? No. Yeah, somewhat. Absolutely. But, you just fill your sink with boiling water and some soap, whatever it is, and that will kill the germs. So that will do the job as well.

But again, if you get it, had it down, take it. Absolutely. Okay. What's next? We've got diaper nappy bag. Just use any bag is the short answer. I don't think it has to

be a diaper bag. I found I've got like this almost like a hiking backpack and that thing, it was just perfect for everything that I needed.

It had all the compartments, it had, it just literally had everything that I needed. I didn't need to go out and buy specifically a diaper bag. It's Anytime you put a label on it that it's baby related or that it's like wedding related or any sort of thing related, it always marks up the price a little bit.

But make sure it's a backpack, don't get anything that's like over the shoulder or like over the shoulder or yeah because that's just too hard to carry. hands free. So any sort of backpack, anyone that you have at home will do the job. So yes, you need a bag for all the bits and pieces that you're going to have to carry around.

But does it have to be specifically a diaper bag that's marketed as a diaper bag? I'm going to say no.

I completely agree with you because Yeah. You don't need a fancy bag with hundreds of little pockets. Again, we got handed a baby bag and I was like, Oh my God. I forgot where things were.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Because there's so many pockets. I'm like, okay, wipes going to be in this pocket. And then we've got snacks in this pocket. And then the bottle, there'll be pockets that were insulated. I'm like, sure. Okay. So the bottle goes there. And then honestly. In the moment where let's say there's a nappy explosion or poo explosion or something, and you're like, Oh my God, I'm like frantically trying to find stuff.

Because everything we had in our own special compartments and they really do market it in terms of that. Oh, there's all these sections, all the different things that you need. What, honestly, a simple bag with one big compartment might be trial and error. Like literally, if you have a couple of backpacks, try them out and see what works.

What feels comfortable to wear, it's going to be big enough, all the stuff that you need, you might need a small one, someone else might need a big one, all that kind of stuff. D's absolutely right. If you get one that is like a satchel or with straps that you put on one shoulder, that might be okay for a little bit.

If you're out about a lot, And let's say you don't have a pram or something to put the bag in and you're holding the baby you're going to feel it, you're going to feel it really quickly. So yeah, you definitely don't need a specific baby nappy bag.

Absolutely. All right. Next one, baby monitor thoughts.

I lean more towards essential, I think, but I don't know. I think it's because in my mind, it just feels like it's another added layer for your. Mental peace in terms of just knowing that your baby's okay. We had Kenzo in our room for a couple of months, so did we need it then?

No, but when you're outside of the room, maybe. Then we moved him to the next room, we could literally hear him cough or breathe. So we probably didn't either then, but we still had one because, every now and again you want to see, oh yeah, has he rolled over and he's, is he lying on his stomach and he can't roll properly yet or something like that.

And then also if you have babysitters. I think babysitters in particularly might be more anxious because they're like, okay, it's not our baby. Like we really need to make sure that this baby's okay whilst we're looking after them. So I think a monitor in that situation is really, you know what, yeah, I think it's gonna, I think for me.

I think it's essential, especially at the start when they get older, . You don't need it. But at the start, I think essential again, get a cheap one. You don't need a fancy night vision 4k, only see through your phone app kind of stuff. Like you, you don't need that. There are definitely cheap options, but I'm going to change your mind and say, yeah, I think it's essential.

I'm still on the fence.
So I think I am leaning a little bit more towards essential. Cause I think you're right. In the early days, when you're still learning, especially with your first child, when you're still learning their, the way that they breathe, the way that they sleep, when they're going through all those milestones really quickly, it is, important for your peace of mind to know what they're doing.

And sometimes you don't want to go in the room because you don't want to wake them up and all that stuff. So just checking them on the monitor makes sense. In saying that though, I don't think I use my monitor that much. Thank God it was a gift. I wouldn't recommend going out and buying one. Like it was a gift from my sister in law and it was quite expensive because it came with the heart monitor that you put under the mattress.

That, for me, was a thousand percent essential, because I was really scared about sins, and I was really anxious about all of that. So that, for me, was actually more important. But with Aiden, because we had the side sleeper, I actually would move it. So At night we had it in the bedroom, during the day I had it in the living room, and so while I was doing stuff, I was close enough to be able to hear him and see him as I walked past.

So I didn't really use the monitor that much, but I do agree that at the start, it's probably a good idea to have something cheap. Just so you can go and just have a quick little check in and see what's going on.

Yep. Yep. Yep. You mentioned that other device, it was a, was it a heart? I'm pretty sure it was either the heart or like breath, like some sort of movement device.

Yeah. It was breathing. And I remember because we got it handed down to us and we'd never used it. So it's interesting because you, yeah, it's interesting because you said that you think it's really essential or I never used it. So therefore I would say not essential.

And I remember you had it. I specifically remember coming over to your place and you had it. And I was like, Oh, that's what that thing's for.

Oh, okay. Kenzo is probably like a year old by now, so we'd never used it, that's really interesting that you felt it was essential. Whatever's going to give you peace of mind in terms of your baby safety is what you need and what you feel is essential.

So each to their own, right?
Yeah, I agree. I think it's either one or the other, right? Because they both do the similar sort of thing. So maybe pick one, whichever one you think works for you, pick one or the other, if you're paying for it yourself. Yeah.

Yeah. Sounds good. Sounds good. Nursing pillow. Any pillow will do. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I will have some comments though, because you can't really use a super soft one that doesn't have any support or firmness, that's probably not gonna work.

And something that you can mold a little bit because if it's too firm, then it probably won't work as well. But look, you. You just through trial and error will realize, or you will adapt as well, but you will get an understanding of what you need to help in terms of positioning the baby, if you are breastfeeding or even if you're not like, with the bottle, you still want to hold the baby and have support because your back and your shoulder and your arms, they can get really tired and the baby gains weight really quickly.

So yeah, you don't need. A special, specific nursing pillow, one that's marketed for that, any pillow will do, but there will be some that will be better than others for sure. We did have one handed down though, and it was like in a bean shape. And then my friend also had this weird one,

I'm like, this is too much for me. And it was like, I had this thing that go around you. I was like, Oh no, I'm okay. And I had the bean one already, which I've handed down to my sister. She really liked it too. So again, it's cause the convenience thing, you hope that some of these products That is marketed for a baby support product that they have done testing or have gone, okay, most women like support this way or whatever it is.

So it might make your life a little bit easier, but do you need to go out and buy one specifically? No.

Nope. You touched on a really good point, because I had completely forgotten about this. Your arm gets so tired. Yes. Yes, babies are small, yes, they're little, but when they're breastfeeding on one booth for 20 minutes, 20 minutes is a long time to hold and even their body weight but it's just to hold your arm in that position.

It's tiring. So if you've got a cushion that works, like you said, trial and error, if you've got a cushion that works or even just I would just lie down on the couch and just have Aiden like lying down and Amelia lying down. So yeah, figure out what works. I got given like that boomerang one.

I don't know if that's what you mean, the same sort of thing. It's that you, like a V shape. It was like a V. There's so many. There's so many out there. Yeah. Yeah. Mine was like that sort of elbow shape and that was good because it just sat right in me and I could maneuver it however I wanted.

And then as, of it but yeah, you do need something because your arm, your back, your shoulders will get, you don't realize because you hunch, but everything will be sore. So if you've got some sort of support there, it just helps a little bit.

Yeah, absolutely. Okay. So a few other things we've got on the list, I think, are more for when the baby gets a little bit older.

So we've got things like baby food, parade, shoes, toys, and books. So those things you'd absolutely do not need straight away. Food is five, six months shoes. They can't walk. You don't need a newborn with shoes. Do not do it. It's a waste. Just lose it.

They will throw them off. They hate socks. They hate shoes. Don't do it.

Yes. They're cute. Yes. You're probably going to get little converse as a gift or something. Great. That's fine. But in terms of you going out and spending your money, don't honestly don't do it because They're not cheap as well, and they have absolutely no use.

And they'll literally wear it one time, probably in one photo, and that'll be the last time you ever see it. Yeah, absolutely. But, if it completes the outfit, go for it, but it's not essential at all. Not practical either.
Yeah. Anything to do with feeding the baby, food, puree, special spoons, you don't need to worry about any of that stuff for a good three, four, five, six months. So don't worry about that. Toys and books. Look, not essential until a few months, but I would say if you had a baby register or, People asking you if they can get you anything. That stuff is always really good.

I'm really pro books. Like we've got so many books and there are specific books you can get that are created for newborns or very early stage babies with, the black and white, the contrast, that kind of stuff to help them in terms of just, with their eyes .

I would say, yeah, that stuff is nice. I would say it's almost essential because they do help in terms of just you engaging with your baby as well. Toys. You don't need many toys, especially early days. Just a few little things, maybe soft things, maybe sensory things for them to touch.

Maybe a little baby soft rattle or something, just something like that. But you don't need to go, don't need to go crazy. You don't need to buy a whole heap of toys. Trust me in a year, you're gonna have so many toys. They multiply. We have, I was saying to my sister who was over the other night and my kids are, six and three now, but I swear to God, the toys multiply.

We had two tubs in the living room. One was for Lego and one was for Duplo. And then we had just like a little basket of other toys. And somehow there's four tubs there now. And the other day I was looking, I'm like where is this extra two tubs of toys come from? I swear that multiplied somehow just sneakily multiplied in the house.

Yeah. And look, you're going to get so many gifts for birthdays and that kind of stuff that are toys. So you don't need to spend so much money, especially early days getting toys. At all. And if you do want to help them in terms of that sensory stuff, cheap and easy stuff, you can get different little bits of fabric, they can play with just things that feel different.

You have stuff throughout the house that you can do that with. So that would be my thoughts in terms of the toys and books.

Yeah absolutely. Shop your house. That's what I did at the start. I just walked through the house and I just found things just that made different sounds, that felt different.

Did the whole thing like, where I put like dry rice, dry beans, dry different things in different containers and just let them shake it and play with it and it made obviously a slightly different sound. Those little things. The things that will help save money, because as they get older, they want more expensive gifts and that, so when they're little, the smallest thing will entertain them.

I don't know if you remember, but when you guys came over, all the kids would fight over this. plastic black soundless mash potato masher. utensil.

Yes. It had no, made no sound. It had no color, had nothing. But all the kids would fight over this mash potato masher. And I have no idea why. Cause there was nothing special about it, but even just putting, I would get the old, the.

Tissue boxes and put different things in there and have Aiden pull it out and Amelia pull it out. And that was fun for them. Cause and effect. Anything that has a cause and effect is a big thing for them. That's why they love peekaboo. But in order to save money as well, a good idea is if you can at your local libraries, we would take the kids to baby time.

And they would play and they would read a book that was age appropriate for them. And when they're little, it is all about the contrast, because their eyes haven't fully developed yet. So contrast, and even if you have a, a, book or a mirror even. Mirrors, anything that contrasts are the biggest thing.

So just go to the library, borrow those books. They'll have the ages on them. Borrow them, return them, get new ones. But it is all, in those early stages, I think it is all about the interaction with the parents. So the more you can cuddle them, you can hold them, you can Read to them, even if it's like a book that you're reading, it doesn't matter they don't know any way, it's just they can hear the language.

And then obviously as they get older, then yes, start going to books with words and pictures and talk to them and talk it through, but libraries, baby time libraries will give you the steer, they'll guide you on where they're at. on their particular age of what type of books they should be reading.

And then toy library. I always say 1000 percent toy library because they have all the big toys and you can bring them home for a couple of weeks, and they can press all the buttons and do all the things. And then you just return them at the end of the period. So they will save you money because toys, like you said, they're going to receive them as gifts.

So If there's something that you love, go out and buy it, but I don't know, I think 90 percent of the toys that the kids have were not bought by me.

Absolutely. Us too. Yeah. Or, from op shops. Yeah. I think the toy library is so amazing and we could definitely do an episode on the toy library, I think.

But our mother's group were really big on the toy library and you volunteer a lot. I'm not as much, but I have volunteered and yeah, it's really great because often it's the biggest stuff, the more expensive stuff. As you'll keep gets older, but newborn, don't worry about that stuff.

Have everything you need at home. Most likely I so when it comes to thinking, if you need whatever baby product that's being marketed to you, your friends, ask your mother's group, did you guys need this, have you used this, do you have one I can borrow to try it out, that kind of stuff.

If it's anything that seems fancy, if it seems expensive, if it seems Maybe gimmicky, right? Then pause, because you're probably not going to need it. There's probably stuff at home that you can use instead of spending money and buying whatever gimmicky thing it is. Just, I'm going to say that's going to be 60, 70 percent of the stuff that's marketed to you.

That's going to be the case. But there you have it friends. That's our list of things that we found. We're not. essential at all. Remember again, every family's needs are different. Yours is going to be different to ours. Potentially it's, it comes down to what's just going to make your life easier, honestly, like in the middle of the night.

And you want to have to think as little as possible. You go into automatic mode, right? It's whatever is going to make life easy for you. If there are a few things that you bought that were completely not essential and you felt were a waste of time, please let us know so we can share that with our audience.

We hope our insights help reduce. a little bit of stress or maybe decision fatigue that you might be feeling when going through all the potential things you might need to buy. If you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, let your friends know, let your mother's group know about us.

Leave us a review if you can and we'll see you next week. Bye. Bye.