Milk and Madness

Dee: 00:00

There are literally no words to explain that moment when you have your child in your hands, when you can see their little face and their body, and they're just so little, and they're so reliant on you? Hello, lovely listeners. Welcome to the Milk and Madness podcast hosted by Dee and Nhi. Today, you're here with Dee as I'm recording a bonus episode, to walk you through my labor story. Now apologies in advance.

Dee: 00:27

I am coming off the back end of COVID, so I may sound slightly croaky. We'll try and get through this as painlessly as possible. The labor journey itself, it is such an individual experience. I can't tell you how your experience will go. I can't guarantee that it will or won't be the same as mine.

Dee: 00:46

Well, most likely won't be the same as mine. But I think that it's really important to hear different stories just to get a gauge of what labor can be like because it is the unknown. I personally was so incredibly fortunate to have had a textbook pregnancy and labor as well. I was able to fall pregnant quite easily, and I didn't experience any of the well known common symptoms like morning sickness or heartburn, blood pressure issues, nothing like that. So I was so incredibly thankful that I didn't have to go through any of that.

Dee: 01:20

Obviously, I had aches and pains, but nothing too dramatic or drastic. So I would consider my experience overall quite smooth and easy. So, again, I do hope your experience is the same as mine. I know we hear a lot of horror stories, a lot of horror pregnancy stories, a lot of horror labor stories, and, you know, they aren't all like that. So I hope me sharing this experience doesn't set any unrealistic expectations for you, but it also sets your mind at ease that even though it is the unknown, it can go quite smoothly as well.

Dee: 01:57

Alright. So I will talk about because there's a lot to unpack, of course. So what I'll do is I'll talk about all the physical aspects of the labor, and then I think maybe in a different story, I'll talk about the emotional side in more depth because, yeah, there is a lot here. I know I am trying to keep it brief. So for me, everything happened in sequential order of how it was explained to me in the birthing classes, which I highly recommend that you do if you haven't already and if you are currently pregnant.

Dee: 02:24

At the time, I didn't put 2 and 2 together, but in hindsight, I see how it all played out that way. I had taken 2 weeks of mat leave because I felt quite well. My pregnancy was quite smooth, and there were no issues, so I'd only taken 2 weeks. But 4 days in, someone decided that he was ready to come out. At the time, I didn't know it was a he, so I was completely unsure of what the sex of the baby would be.

Dee: 02:50

But I remember going to that nesting phase where I was, like, vaccumming and cleaning throughout the day, and I was, yeah, I was proper nesting. And I've heard people tell me about that, but I didn't realize that I was doing it until, again, like I said, in hindsight, I realized that, yeah, I was I was nesting. I then remember doing the satisfying poo which if you know, you know, and again, I was told about it and didn't really what anyone was talking about until it happened. I was like, oh, yep. Okay.

Dee: 03:20

This is the satisfying poo. So, yeah, if if you're currently pregnant, you'll know what that means. My mucus plug also came out. So, again, it was something that the birthing classes explained to me. And, yes, so that came out.

Dee: 03:35

And I just, I just remember feeling really tired, like really, really just drained just out of it. We're out for dinner at Calvin's parents' house and yeah. And he was like, let's go home. You look really exhausted. And I said, yeah.

Dee: 03:48

Let's do it. So I came home, and I was about to jump into bed. I was standing next to the bed, and I literally lifted up the sheets to to jump in. And I just remember this trickle of water running down my leg. And it's not like the movies.

Dee: 04:01

It's not like a gush of water splashing everywhere. It's not a water balloon popping out of you. It was just like this trickle of water and I was just quite confused. I was like, did I just pee myself? Like, what's what's going on here?

Dee: 04:12

Then obviously, I realized that, oh, my water just broke. So we headed to the hospital. Now I wanted a water birth. So we'd called the hospital and we said, look, our water just broke. We want a water birth, and they said, look.

Dee: 04:25

Come in, and, we'll assess from there. So we thought, no worries. We headed in, and they strapped me up and had me up to all the monitors and whatnot and asked me a couple of questions. Had me there for a little while. I'm not sure how long because time escapes you.

Dee: 04:45

But, yes, I was in there for a little bit and contractions had started, and I think they were just monitoring to see how far apart they were. But, yeah, after they checked everything up and and they said everything looks good, they gave me some painkillers, and they said go home, Get some rest. This is your first baby. This could take a few days. And I was just like, wait.

Dee: 05:06

What? I think in my head, I thought your water breaks, you go into the hospital, and that's it. Like, you don't leave the hospital until you come out with the baby. But they're like, no. No.

Dee: 05:14

It's your first baby. It could take a couple of days. Go home. Get get as much rest as you possibly can. And I was like, okay.

Dee: 05:20

It's not what I was expecting, but sure. So we came home and I told Calvin, look, go and get some rest because obviously one of us needs to rest and I don't think that I'm gonna get any. So he went to sleep and not long after we came home, I could feel the contractions getting stronger and stronger. And I felt like every time I was contracting, like my body just wanted to push. So I tried to have a shower.

Dee: 05:44

I tried to lie down. I tried to sit up. I tried different things to breathe through it and get through the pain and and all of that. Nothing really worked. I ended up calling the hospital again a few hours later, and I said, look.

Dee: 05:57

My body is pushing, and they said, it's bound to happen. Try to breathe through it. Give us a call when your contractions are really close together. And I was like, okay. Then they're like, take another couple of painkillers in 2 hours.

Dee: 06:08

Another 2 hours passed, and I was still pushing. I was still I don't know. I just I couldn't I couldn't stop myself from pushing. I wasn't in extreme pain. I wasn't in distress.

Dee: 06:21

Nothing like that. I just I felt like my body was ready to push. After the 2 hours had passed, I called the hospital again. I said, look. I'm still pushing.

Dee: 06:30

I I don't know. Is this right? It's my first child. Something just doesn't feel right. And they said, okay.

Dee: 06:37

Come in. And I reminded them again, I want a water birth, and they said, yep. No worries. Please come in. So I wake up Calvin, and we go in, and they strap me up again, and they look at everything, and I don't remember much of that bit of the hospital.

Dee: 06:53

I was focusing on breathing. I was really focusing on trying to get through the contractions. They must have talked to Calvin. It's all just a blur to me. I don't really recall too much.

Dee: 07:03

But they got a room ready for me, and I went to the room. And, again, I said, I want a water birth, and they said, yep. Yep. Yep. Let's check you out, and let's see where we're at.

Dee: 07:13

Whoever came in, I'm assuming it was the nurse, the midwife, she came in, and she did an internal check, which is basically they go down there and they feel around, I guess. And she said, oh, your 10 centimetre's dilated. You need to start pushing. I'm really sorry. We don't have time to set up the water birth.

Dee: 07:28

And I said, okay. No worries. Let's just do this. So they gave me the gas and funny story here, which will be for another day. But, yes, they gave me the gas, and I was just taking cues from the nurse.

Dee: 07:41

So they will usually tell you when to push, when to rest. They kinda gauge where everything's going. So they must have had like a small tub or bucket of water, warm water and a cloth and I distinctly remember TMI alert here that they were getting in the cloth and they were wiping, but it wasn't just there. It was like the bum area as well. So I'm assuming that with the pushing, people that say that they don't poo themselves when they push are probably lying.

Dee: 08:08

Even though I did the satisfying poo and I felt like I was cleaned out, most likely. I think I did probably do a poo while I was pushing. But anyway, so I started pushing and, again, took the cues from the nurse, and I just remember that it felt like a burning sensation. That's just what it felt like to me when, I guess, the baby was coming and and the baby was ready to come out. I didn't realize it was the last push, but I just remember thinking, I'm done.

Dee: 08:37

Get out. Like, just get out now. And so I just mustered up all my strength, and I just pushed with all my might, and the baby came out. It was it was such a beautiful, beautiful experience for me. On one hand, I was relieved that the label was over.

Dee: 08:54

Little did I know that the, post labor would, have me wanting the labor to come back because all of the things that come post delivering a baby. The other side of it was the relief that came with seeing your baby. You'd seen the baby on the monitors when you had, but it is a whole another thing when you're holding your baby in your hands, and you can see all 10 fingers, all 10 toes, and that they're just perfect in in every way. And then finally, the icing on the cake for me was to find out the sex of the baby. I found out that I had a boy.

Dee: 09:29

So for the purposes of this story, I will refer to him as Aiden even though it took us 3 weeks to decide on a name. Again, another side story. But they put Aidan on my skin to have that skin to skin contact. And while they were doing other bits and pieces, I had to, of course, birth my placenta and all of that. I didn't even care.

Dee: 09:49

They could do whatever they were doing, and I was in such awe. It was just it I just I can't explain it. Looking back, those 10 months of growing a baby and feeling the baby inside of you, it all comes together in that one moment when you hold them and they're there. Sorry. Every time I think about it, it just makes me emotional.

Dee: 10:11

Aidan was just a fit. I cannot explain it in any way other than that. I remember looking at him up and down and all around and just looking at every single inch of him. And it's really funny because before having kids, I would look at babies, like newborns, and I would just wonder. I'm like, why do people say they're so beautiful?

Dee: 10:30

Like, they are so weird looking and people are like, wait till you have your own kid. You'll see. You'll see that you'll think that they're perfect. And I just looked at Aidan and I was like, he looks like a little he was all wrinkly. He was a poorly pinky color with ears.

Dee: 10:45

It went way too big for his head. And even though I could see that Calvin thought he was cute, and I'm like, no, man. So he looks like a little old man. A wrinkly little old man. But it didn't matter.

Dee: 10:55

I I just felt this overwhelming feeling of love and protection and gratitude that he was here and that he was healthy and all of the anxieties of the unknown were gone. And yes I was in my bubble of love. Now there's certainly so much more to dive into about the emotional side of things and the post pregnancy side of things. But I'll quickly switch and talk about my experience with my second born. I fell pregnant with my second, if my math is correct, 1.8 months or so after giving birth to Aiden.

Dee: 11:29

So they're about two and a half years apart. And I had a very similar pregnancy with my second. Again, didn't have any issues getting pregnant. My pregnancy was fine and, I also didn't find out the sex of this child as well. So I was convinced that I was having another boy.

Dee: 11:47

The only difference was more mentally because it was during lockdown that I was pregnant with my second born. I remember going to the appointments, and because we were in lockdown, Calvin couldn't come. I had a lot more fear and anxiety with my second born and that was due to, obviously, the state of the world, things around the COVID situation. I remember feeling really scared and anxious about how I would be in the hospital because there was a lot of talk about all the resources were scarce because of COVID, and I was worried that I wouldn't get the care that I needed with delivering the baby. And I was scared that Calvin couldn't come to the hospital.

Dee: 12:30

And I was actually quite angry at the world. I was really angry about a lot of things and the way things were panning out. It ended up being quite a dark night of the soul sort of experience, but again that's a story for another time. Luckily everything was basically similar to how it was with Aidan, so I had that that reassurance that I felt at ease. It was a second born.

Dee: 12:52

I'd been through it. I knew the drill. So everything progressed much in the same way. Again, I took 2 weeks of mat leave before my due date, but the second one was a little bit more stubborn. She wasn't quite ready.

Dee: 13:04

She had other plans. She ended up being just under a week late, and I remember going to the appointments and they did the stretch and sweep, I think it's called. TMI alert. But where they insert their fingers and they try to manually induce labour. Again, everything happened as per normal.

Dee: 13:25

My water broke. I went to the hospital. I do recall though, after I had Aiden that they said if I have any more children that everything will happen a lot quicker. So with my second child, we called the hospital. We went to the hospital.

Dee: 13:41

It was actually a different hospital this time. They checked me out. They, monitored me up, everything. They had me in the room, and the contractions hit. And I was like, okay.

Dee: 13:51

I remember what this is. I'm ready to go. The nurse came in and she said, look. Entirely up to you. You can either go home and wait until your contractions are closed or I can do an internal search to check to see how far you are dilated but it'll mean that I'll have to totally blanked on what the word is called, but where they have to put you into the hospital.

Dee: 14:12

And I said, check me. I want to be not enrolled. What's the word? Anyway, you guys know what I'm talking about. And she's like, okay.

Dee: 14:20

No worries. So she did her search and she said, okay. You're 6 centimeters dilated. So I got a room ready, went into the room, and I'm looking around. I'm like, oh, there's no nurses.

Dee: 14:31

I'm ready to push. Can you go get me in and get a nurse? And she came in. I'm like, yeah. I'm ready to push.

Dee: 14:36

She's like, oh, okay. Okay. So Amelia came out. I'd have to have a look on the papers, but I think I had active labor for, like, 7 minutes or something. Like, it was so quick.

Dee: 14:46

She came out. She was ready. I was ready. My body knew what to do. And she came out, and she was still in the sack.

Dee: 14:53

I had to rip the sack open. And, again, everything just blurred. They were stitching me up. They were doing what they were doing. It did not matter.

Dee: 15:00

None of it mattered. First of all, I didn't know she was a girl so when they put her on me and I was dead set convinced I was having another boy and they said she's a girl I was just beside myself because a) I wasn't expecting her to have a boy and a girl. There are literally no words to explain that moment when you have your child in your hands, when you can see their little face and and their body, and they're just so little and they're so reliant on you and they just snuggle into you. And it's an experience that I'm beyond grateful for. It doesn't help that I'm croaky because it sounds like I'm even more choked up.

Dee: 15:34

But, honestly, it it really is remarkable, what we go through. That wraps up today's episode. Thank you so much for being patient with me and my croaky voice. Please remember to listen to your intuition. Come what may you don't know what your experience is gonna be like until you're in it.

Dee: 15:52

So be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself. Thank you for listening to my story. I hope you were able to take something away from it. We would also love to hear from you.

Dee: 16:03

So if you would like to share with me and myself and the listeners of this podcast, please contact us at contact atmilkamandness.com. Until next time. Stay connected. You are not alone.